It's About Humility

Friday, January 16, 2015

via pinterest
I want to talk about something a little bit controversial today. I've been noticing a lot of people talking about confidence lately - the media has, admittedly, a negative affect on the minds of many of us as imperfect women - in which many people seem to think the combattant is self-promotion. I see blog posts, videos, tweets and photos all the time in which girls - and women - in an attempt to fill a void they feel for their own worth, are instead proclaiming their own glory. To complicate the matter, many of the people we look up to and admire are doing the same thing, and being praised for their pride or vanity, amazingly.

Mankind has always been vain. Take a look in your history books; you could read multiple accounts of deaths brought about by man's indissoluble pride.

To a certain extent, though, I like this movement. I think self-doubt is the knife in the back of productivity, of excellence, and of beauty. I'm not afraid to admit I struggle with it daily and continue to struggle with insecurity, whether about my shape, my skin, or any other small issue. Everyone has insecurities, whether she realises that's what's at the root of her issue or not. Fear of disappointing others stems from a lack of belief in your own ability, just as fear of rejection, embarassment, or anything else.
So yes, to some extent, I think it's good for women to stop beating themselves up and to love their bodies; their skin; the work they have to share with the people around them. What I don't like is how it's become cute to be vain. Spoiler: it's not.

As children of God we were not meant to walk in the shadow of our own fear, but neither are we to walk in the light of our own pride - a feeble light that would be. Self-confidence is important; so important. But sometimes, it's better to hold quiet court with yourself and your Creator. People who are truly confident in the person God created them to be are beautiful, bright, and very difficult to shake. They're well-founded and stable. A false self-confidence, on the other hand, only comes off as pretentious and self-interested - and honestly, it's exhausting to be around.

Sometimes, it's not necessary to be the best and brightest person in the room - only the steadiest. If people don't like or respect you, it's not your job to tell them off and puff out your chest; it's your job to ignore negativity and hold fast to the hand of your Maker.  Let your roots grow deep, and your branches wide, and self-confidence will care for itself.

10 comments

  1. I love this post! You are so right. Real confidence isn't loud. It has no need to be. If someone thinks less of you than you ought, the right kind of self-confidence won't get in that person's face, it will simply not let this person's opinion affect it. Self-confidence is important, but there is a balance between it and pride. Sometimes it's difficult to find that balance. Especially when you're running from one extreme (strong insecurity), it's easy to run to the other extreme (haughty indifference). Good confidence doesn't have to prove itself, and it can it can admit it's faults when it makes mistakes.

    Something I've noticed similar to this, is that people, especially girls/women, are beginning to flaunt their faults. I don't know if it stems from us taking self-confidence too far, or if it's completely separate. But I've noticed a lot of people bragging about the things they ought to be ashamed of. They see nothing wrong with the irresponsible way they act or the poor way they treat others. Instead they seem to believe it makes them adorable.

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    1. You're exactly right, Ashley, and it is difficult to find a balance. I've found often it's better to let confidence care for itself (far easier said than done, I know, but when it works, it works) and focus instead on loving other people well. It's hard, but so is life. ;)
      Fault-flaunting only speaks poorly, in my opinion, of the person flaunting them. How can anyone respect someone who doesn't respect herself? But I know I have been prey to this before, so I can say little against others. Again, all in the balance. :)

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  2. It really is true. There's a quote I read recently: "You may be pretty, and you may be talented, but nobody will remember that if you're mean." Not that vain people are always mean, but the concept is similar enough to bear mention. Great post, Carmel. :)

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    1. A good quote, that one! What good are our talents if we cannot present them graciously? ^.^

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  3. This was such a beautiful post, and it is so true. I agree that especially for women and young girls, self confidence can be lacking, so it's wonderful to try to be more confident in one's abilities and looks. However, like you said, the key is being quietly confident. That way you don't come across as boasting, but at the same time, you still feel good about yourself.

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    1. I know so few quietly strong women, but they have been true inspiration to me. You're so right. <3

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  4. Good post. Very true and inspirational. :) I'm really liking the new outlook to your blog!

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    1. Thankyou-thankyou! Your feedback is invaluable. ;)

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  5. Lovely post, Carmel! I totally agree =). Thank you for sharing!

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