Even On The Dull Days

Monday, April 06, 2015

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Today I would like to share something that's been weighing on my heart for the past few weeks, and it's about waiting. My thoughts are a bit scattered on the topic, so please bear with me. :)

This may just be me - though I'm inclined to think it isn't - but I am not a patient person. At all. So much so that I would rather spring straight into the mouths of the lions than sit on the edge and think about a logical escape.

It sounds a bit crazy when you put it that way, and it's true - I'm not a huge fan of change, but it depends on what the change is. Ultimately, I would rather not wait around for it. I'm always excited for the next step, always ready to move on, always curious what's up ahead. I would like to think it's not a bad disposition to have - and maybe it isn't, in some ways, but when it comes to waiting on the timing of the Lord, I'm struggling.

I've been struggling a lot recently.

You've read Exodus before, or at least know the story - right? Moses is out in the desert herding sheep for 40 years, doing, in essence "nothing." Sometimes I feel like that: that I'm sitting at home doing schoolwork, dancing in the evenings, going to sleep and repeating the process. I like the structure of everyday life, but when week after week become the same routine, the same pattern almost to a T, I get restless. Ever heard the term "Monotony Kills"? It was coined for people like me. XD

This isn't about my personal struggles though - goodness knows you wouldn't want to read that (I wouldn't want to read that) - but it's about what I'm learning, what I need to say, and what I hope will help you as well. I dislike the phrase "everything happens for a reason," because more often than not it's a caveat for people who don't want to ask deeper, harder questions - but everything does happen for a reason. It's got to. And that means that the mundane days, days like today when I wake up with a sinking feeling in my heart because I know exactly how everything will play out and it will be another one of "those days" and there is nothing I can do to change it - I have to be reminded that there is purpose in the mundane. There is purpose in your waiting, whether it's for the chance to do what you truly want to do, for the right people to come into your life, for a time when you can breathe more easily - use the time wisely, yes, but even when you can't see an end to the tedium, praise. 

There's a quote by Anne Lamott that I love, and it says that "if you aren't enough before the gold metal, you won't be enough with it." I have that written on a board behind my computer - you might want to as well. There will be days in your writing, your schoolwork, your everyday life that feel like straight up tedium - and you want to get to the fun part - but if you aren't enough without the prize, you won't be enough with it. Everyday cannot be gameday; even in the in betweens, the dulldrums, the mundane - let's praise.

6 comments

  1. Carmel--wow. I am so right there with you and this was incredibly timely for me to read. Appreciate your transparency--and know I'm in the same boat, my friend. :)

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    1. Your support is invaluable - and it is good to know when one is not alone. :)

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  2. This so true! Honestly, I've been struggling with this exact same thing. Getting through the mundane and waiting. It feels like I'm always waiting. But it's times like these when I can feel God saying, "you are in the right place at the right time." And in all my restlessness, I just have to trust Him and praise Him through it. He really does know what He's doing. Be thankful and rejoice! :)

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    1. Thank you for your honesty, Ashley! If I've learned anything from these situations, its that I learn a lot from these situations. Often I would prefer to rush through to the next big thing, but by keeping me in this waiting stage, I feel the hand if God leading me more specifically, rather than my running ahead and waiting for him to "catch up".

      Let us always be rejoicing. :)

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  3. The last almost-year of my life has been a waiting room, so this was perfect. Thank you, Carmel! It's in these times that we need to remind ourselves of the ways God has come through in the past. He's always on time, even when you feel forgotten. You're definitely not alone in this! <3

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    1. You're right, Tracey - and I love that you mentioned that! It seems slow now but I know looking back I will be able to see clearly why it wasn't - because often God is using us in ways we cannot see until after the fact. <3

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