As my Junior year just recently closed, a lot of people have been asking me if I know what I want to do next. College? Internships? Majors? Jobs? As a person with very little skill at decision making, and even smaller idea of what I want to do after next year, answering these questions is, to say the least, difficult. "Well, I'm not sure...I might want to go to a college of the arts...and I'll still be blogging and writing, of course..." You catch my drift.
There's nothing wrong with people being curious (and let's be honest, it's a good way for the neighbor you haven't spoken to in a year to get to know you a little better) but there comes a point where what you want to do with your life starts to become "you" - and that gets a bit frustrating, you know? Things like graduation ceremonies and senior-centered events become awkward when everyone's bio reads "plans on going to (such and such) college in the fall..." and all you can think of is "Carmel likes fashion and wants to pursue some career with it." Hrm.
I know I've got time to sort that out. And still, to some extent, I know I'll never have full confidence one way or another, and whatever decision I make will ultimately be on faith. That's life. And how do you sort out what you want to do with your life if you don't know who you are?
I want to be graceful, a hostess, a woman of God. I want to travel and learn and soak up knowledge. I want to school people in the art of beauty and makeup. I want to style people for red carpet events. I want to absorb fabrics and textures and colors and maybe someday create my own things. I want to write books that bring people to their knees. And from there, not from the pressure to "have a career" or "go to college" or "plan a life" - from there, I'm building an idea of what the next right step is.
Do you know yourself? How do you cope with people asking about your next step?