An Explanation

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

via tumblr

First: Did you think I'd died?

(I sure hope not.)

Second: I sincerely apologize for dropping off the face of the blogosphere like that, with no explanation. I was at a point with blogging where it was beginning to feel like a chore, and that's never been my desire for this place. When what you love becomes a chore, it may be time to step back and reassess. So that's what I did.

Third: I still want to blog. I just feel the need to make that very clear, since the rest of this is going to be a little bit less so. I still want to blog, but I'm honestly not sure how much time (if any) I will have to do it in college. I always say (a bit tongue-in-cheek) that I don't do anything by halves, and though mostly I'm just poking fun at my own bull-headed-ness, it is partly true. To blog half-heartedly is a foreign idea to me - if I'm going to do it, I want to be all in. But unfortunately, I simply can't be all in blogging at the same time I'm all in school. It's not practical, and likely not possible.

Fourth: I'm going to be completely honest: I did think about quitting entirely. I've been getting a bit uncomfortable with focusing so much attention on myself, and as much as I love blogging, I'm not necessarily looking for a career out of it anymore. I want to reach other people who think the way I do, and uplift other women in this online community. I don't want this to become my alleged modeling portfolio.

Fifth: I realized I'm still egotistical enough to think other people care about what I have to say, and precocious enough to keep saying it. ;)

Sixth: If you're confused by all this, all you really need to know is this - to the question "are you still blogging?" Yeah, I am. I've still got so much to say, and in my small way, I think I always will. The writer in me is ever alive and kicking, Lord love her! On top of that, this blog has become a sort of way of keeping long-distance friends updated on the comings and goings of my life, and I know a handful would be pretty disappointed to see this space go silent entirely (not going to lie, I definitely would be sad too). Because I know if I just "post whenever" it won't happen, and if I promise 4 posts weekly I'll loose sleep for the sake of the schedule, right now I'm sticking with the promise of an easy, breezy, one post a week. If I find my footing quickly and begin to pick up this pace again, wonderful. If not, at least you know it's not for lack of care. I still love this space. I still love writing and sharing and connecting, best of all. I just don't want to loose the joy and allow it to become a task, a laundry-list item.

Seventh: I hope you can bear with me in this new season of life. That is - I understand if you don't. But if you do stick around during the new changes, it means the world to me. Thank you, dear friend.

4 comments

  1. I completely understand, and I think your decision to take it easy but not quit altogether is a wise one. I would miss this little space if you left! But I also have a very, *very* soft spot in my heart for the beautiful place that will soon be taking all of your (and my) time. :)

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  2. I'm glad to see you're back! It sounds extremely wise to scale back, and I look forward to reading what you enjoy posting. :) Best to you as you prep for and head into college - that was an amazing season of life for me, and I hope it will be for you too!

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  3. She's back! I missed reading your thoughts Carmel, but I completely understand that life gets busy and college is crazy.
    I'm always going to stick around <3

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  4. I was out of the country for the last 10 days, so it was actually kind of nice not to have a 10 full-blown posts to read. But I am so glad you are back!

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